The end of a year is a time of reflection for many of us, considering how things have been and the chance to think about how things might be. In an ideal world, the holidays would be a time of the year when we are all a little kinder, helped our fellow humans out a bit more, and took the time to focus on the people in our lives in a meaningful way.
What would it look like if deeper connections with others were the central tradition of the holidays? Fostering connections is one of the most powerful things you can do to promote resilience for yourself, those you care about, and your community.
Check in With Others
Take the time to reach out to someone who may be having a difficult holiday season and have a conversation with them. The conversation does not have to center around mental health. You can start by talking about anything that connects you to that person and be there to listen if they do want to talk about their challenges. Just spending this time sends the message that you care.
It’s also important to remember that although not everyone observes the same holiday traditions, we all want to feel like we belong to a community or group. A sense of belonging can help prevent depression and boost self-esteem and well-being. Inclusive holiday activities can foster a sense of belonging for everyone. Here are some ways to promote more inclusive holidays:
- Try to avoid faith-specific greetings and invitations unless you know the person shares the same beliefs.
- Encourage people attending holiday events to share their own cultural traditions for a fun learning experience.
- Remember that not everyone drinks alcohol or eats the same foods, for personal or faith-based reasons, and try to offer alternatives at holiday gatherings that everyone can enjoy.
Support Your Community
You have probably heard the saying ‘it is better to give than receive’, but did you know studies show being kind to others does you good too? Helping others is one of the best things we can do to spread holiday cheer. Showing kindness towards others increases the production of the hormone oxytocin (which is associated with feelings of attachment and love) and the neurotransmitter serotonin (which is involved in good sleep and feelings of happiness) and can even give some people more energy and feelings of happiness.
You may not be able to solve the big problems, but offering up what you can alleviate some of the challenges others are facing means more than you might think.
- Every community has organizations that are looking for volunteers. To get started, visit L.A. Works to learn about volunteer opportunities in your area.
- Mutual aid programs have been championed by people from diverse communities to meet each other’s needs. Mutual aid calls for “solidarity not charity” —people helping other people, not for pay or praise, but caring for one another emotionally, physically, and financially. Visit the Mutual Aid Hub to locate programs near you.
Check in With You
While checking in on those around you, remember to check in with yourself as well. Self-care is the gift that keeps on giving, all year long. The term “self-care” has become somewhat misused, but it is really about creating habits that support your long-term wellness and resilience. Changing habits and expectations of ourselves and others takes time and practice, so start with small things. Here are some suggestions:
- Pick self-care strategies that seem fun, not things you think you “should” do. You’re more likely to do things that make you happy, and when you’re happy you’re more likely to do things that make you healthy. It’s a virtuous cycle.
- Try adding wellness habits to something that you already do routinely, like doing a 1-minute meditation after you brush your teeth, or taking a walk around the block after you get out of your car.
There will be days when you may reach your limit. Being gentle with yourself by setting boundaries and limits that support your mental health may be the most important self-care of all. The important thing is not to “keep doing all the things” no matter how you are feeling. Give yourself permission to step back. Learning to say “no thanks” can be a powerful self-care tool. If saying no to social obligations feels too difficult, try scheduling a small break before and after each event for a self-care break.
When to Get Help
If you notice any of the following signs of distress in yourself or someone close to you, they can be an indication that it’s time to reach out for help:
- Feeling sad, hopeless, or helpless
- Becoming anxious, worried, or overwhelmed all the time
- Being unable to focus on work or school
- Acting extremely moody or irritable
- Withdrawing from friends and activities
- Having difficulty coping with daily problems or stress
- Using more alcohol or drugs than usual or more often
- Drastically changing eating or sleeping patterns
If you’re experiencing these, or similar signs, you are not alone. Reach out to trusted friends (Preferably an adult), family, and other supportive people in your life.
If you would like to talk to someone outside of your immediate circle, consider calling the California Peer-Run Warm Line (855-845-7415) for non-emergency emotional support.
If you’re in crisis, or are worried about someone else, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Line is available 24/7 by calling or texting 988 or chat 988Lifeline.org.
May your reflections on this year bring wisdom, awareness of your own strength, and a deepened appreciation for how much we need one another as we look ahead with hope and renewed purpose for 2024.